A) I found out I'm anemic. That's just great.

B) I found out that they gave me morphine on Saturday night/Sunday morning, which explains why I can't remember much of anything.

C) I found out I was pregnant.

No, I'm not joking. And not only am I just pregnant, I'm *7* months pregnant. I'm still somewhat in shock about it. I mean, I'm due December 11. You're all probably asking how the fuck I didn't know I was 7 months pregnant. Well, here ya go:

1) By looking at me, you wouldn't think I've gained much weight, maybe about 15lbs. But I got weighed when I went to the hospital and now I'm at 200lbs. Which means I've gained about 45lbs.
2) I haven't had any morning sickness what so ever.
3) I've never had normal periods.
4) About the baby moving, I've always had bad muscle spasms so I figured that's what was going on but now that I know I'm pregnant, I know that that damn thing inside there moves an awful lot.

It's a healthy baby at least, considering I've been smoking all this time, drinking occasionally and not eating healthy at all.

I can't keep it, which really breaks my heart. But I know I'm not financially or emotionally fit to take care of a baby. So I'd rather break my own heart than watch a little baby grow up in a shit enviroment and end up very unhealthy. So, I'm going to put it up for adoption when I have it. If all goes well, my boss is going to talk to her sister that's been looking into adopting another kids and see if she'll want to adopt mine when its born. That way I'll still be able to see it and she'll send me pictures and so forth.

Tomorrow I'm going to go sign up for medicade(aid?) which will hopefully cover all my hospital bills and then go to the moms clinic which will help me get through the emotional part of my pregnancy.

You know, I've done some pretty stupid things in the past but this one takes the cake. I hate to call a baby a mistake but there's no getting around the truth. I'm at least glad I have the support of my friends and my mom and her boyfriend. At least I'll have a little help with all of this..

-n0fx